Five years in Singapore,my mindset and the way I behave have been greatly changed.The language I use, the things I encounter,the people I see around are all unfamiliar.That makes me feel alone.When I was in my hometown ,I do not have to spend lots of effort to explore what other people are thinking because most people around me have similar background and similar idea about the world .This is really a bad habit ,as I later realized ,for no one in the world is identical to another.My new friends are getting less and less because I ｄｏ ｎｏｔ ｋｎｏｗ ｈｏｗ ｔｏ ｅｘｐｒｅｓｓ ｍｙｓｅｌｆ ａｃｃｕｒａｔｅｌｙ ｎｏｒ ｄｏ Ｉ ｋｎｏｗ ｗｈａｔ ｉｓ ａ ｓｕｉｔａｂｌｅ ｔｏｐｉｃ ｔｏ ｍａｋｅ ａ ｓｔａｒｔ．Ｏｎｅ ｃａｎｎｏｔ ｔａｌｋ ａｂｏｕｔ ｗｅａｔｈｅｒ ｌｉｋｅ ｔｈｅ Ｂｒｉｔｉｓｈ ｄｏ ａｔ ａｎｙ ｔｉｍｅ．Ｉ ｓｔａｒｔ ｔｏ ｗｏｎｄｅｒ ｗｈｅｔｈｅｒ ｐｅｏｐｌｅ ｓｍｉｌｅ ａｔ ｍｅ ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ ｏｆ ｆｒｉｅｎｄｓｈｉｐ ｏｒ ｊｕｓｔ ｏｕｔ ｏｆ ｐｏｌｉｔｅｎｅｓｓ．Ｉstarted to fear and wanted to hide myself away from the crowd.This becomes a vicious cycle. My world is restrained.
I was suddenly woke up when one of my friend asked me how many new friend I have made over the past one year.It is painful to face my shortcomings and to make a start.I know it would be a tough journey as I ｈａｖｅ ｔｏ ｓｔｅｐ ｏｕｔ ｏｆ ｍｙ ｃｏｎｆｏｒｔ ｚｏｏｎ． Ｔｈｅ ｇｏｏｄ ｔｈｉｎｇ ｉｓ it is till not too late to start. Confucious has said that if one makes his best,even though he may not improve a lot,it is still a great effort for him. Ｉwant my smile to be less pale,Ｉwant to spend more time on my friend,I ｗａｎｔ ｔｏ ｈｏｌｄ ｍｙ ｏｐｐｏｔｕｎｉｔｙ ａｆｔｅｒ ａｎ ｉｎｔｅｒｖｉｅｗ,I want to understand the world,I ｗａｎｔ ｔｏ ｎｅｓｔ ｍｙ ｓｅｌｆ ｄｅｅｐｌｙ ｉｎｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｅａｒｔｈ ｌｉｋｅ ａ ｂｉｇ ｏｃｋ ｔｒｅｅ .
For me, ES2007S is not just a lesson for me to learn communication skills but a sign of a start. Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｒｅａｌｉｚｅｄ ｔｈｅ ｎｅｅｄ ａｎｄ ａｍ ｗｉｌｌｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｍａｋｅ ａ ｄｉｆｆｅｒｅｎｃｅ．Ｆｏｒ ｍｅ，ｃｏｍｍｕｎｉｃａｔｉｏｎ ｉｓ ｎｏｔ ｏｎｌｙ ａ ｔｏｏｌ，ｂｕｔ ｗｉｌｌ ａｌｓｏ ｂｅ ａ ｌｉｆｅｓｔｙｌｅ．Ｈｅｒｅ Ｉ ｓａｙ ｇｏｏｄｂｙｅ ｔｏ ｍｙ ｓｉｌｅｎｔ ｐａｓｔ ａｎｄ Ｉ ｗａｎｔ ｔｏ ｗａｖｅ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｗｏｒｌｄ ａｎｄ ｓａｙ ｈｅｌｌｏ ａｌｏｕｄ．
Ｉｎ ｔｈｅ ｅｎｄ， Ｉwill attach the lyrics of one of my favorite songs, which has accompanied me through my lonely days,and encouraged me not to give up.
My life goes on in endless song
Above earth's lamentations,
I hear the real, though far-off hymn
That hails a new creation.
Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear it's music ringing,
It sounds an echo in my soul.
How can I keep from singing?
While though the tempest loudly roars,
I hear the truth, it liveth.
And though the darkness 'round me close,
Songs in the night it giveth.
No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that rock I'm clinging.
Since love is lord of heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing?
When tyrants tremble in their fear
And hear their death knell ringing,
When friends rejoice both far and near
How can I keep from singing?
In prison cell and dungeon vile
Our thoughts to them are winging,
When friends by shame are undefiled
How can I keep from singing?
sorry, I ｄｏｎ＇ｔ ｋｎｏｗ ｗｈａｔ ｔｏ ｄｏ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｆｏｎｔ．．．
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ReplyDeletehellooo...:) don't worry so much, perhaps I think ES2007S can help you to achieve something you want to achieve cause I felt that we need to do lots of group work and we can learn from each other.
ReplyDeleteBack to your blog, I think you need to figure out something to correct your font, may be in the setting part. If not, it's a bit confusing to read..:p
your blog is kinda interesting..as in you use the story to describe about ES2007S. Nice one. But I think there are some grammatical errors (which I always make the mistake too). Let's improve it together :)
Li Xian, this is you, right?
ReplyDeleteFirst, about the font. Yes, it is rather disorienting and it makes it difficult to appreciate what you write. If I'm not mistaken you can change it still, even now. Click on the Edit Post button. You will come back to the screen where they let you type your post. Highlight the whole post and change the font to a font of your choice. That should do it.
Secondly, about your post.... I feel almost exactly the same. I have been in Singapore for about 3 years. The number of real friends I can say I have made can be counted with one hand (ONLY!). I have a feeling we went through a bit of the same kind of problem. I am also stuck in a vicious cycle. I am scared to communicate with people. I would like to get to know more people, but because of my fear and inefficiency, I think I end up alienating more people. This makes me feel worse, and the cycle continues in a downward spiral.
I hope we can both get out of our own cycles this time. Good luck! If you need someone to talk to, let me know. :)
Hi Lixian, why don't you try this with the font: cut and paste your text in Notepad. Then copy your text from Notepad, and paste it here. I'm guessing that the formatting tags might be the problem here, and Notepad typically will get ride of those.
ReplyDeleteHi Lixian, I had previously posted a comment last last thursday but it had seemed to have been lost in transition =S sorry for the latey.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, kudos to your decision in wanting to step out of your comfort zone! Not many people have the guts to do that =) The start to learning how to communicate effectively may be shaky at first; we are humans we stumble and we fall..but if we keep trying...who knows what else we can achieve =)
Also, just want to encourage you that effective communication is a life-long skill and it is indeed worth it to learn no matter how tough it will be. Though it is a lifelong skill it doesn't take a lifetime to learn =P... ok that was a bad joke I'm sorry haha.